Relationships

150+ Selfish Parents Quotes to Understand the Selfish Parent in Your Life

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For most people, parents (or primary caregivers) are the most influential role models in their entire lives.

Some parents are great. 

Some, not so much.

Some are merely mildly bad parents.

Others are toxic parents.

Maybe you only had one in your life, and he ore she was narcissistic parent.

The question remains: What do you do if your parents behaved--or are still behaving--selfishly?

It's not easy to know how to deal with a selfish parent, and a selfish parent doesn't always lead to bad parenting.

Whatever your situation, quotes can help.

I've compiled top selfish parents quotes so that you can understand the selfish parent in your life.

It's not always what it seems, and it can help to learn from a wide range of perspectives.

Selfish Parents Quotes - Wise Words to Help You Understand a Selfish Parent

1. "I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased." — Jane Austen (Pride and Prejudice)

2. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall out of the sky. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here... like, the public. Yeah, the public sucks. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. F*ck Hope." — George Carlin

3. "We can surely no longer pretend that our children are growing up into a peaceful, secure, and civilized world. We've come to the point where it's irresponsible to try to protect them from the irrational world they will have to live in when they grow up. The children themselves haven't yet isolated themselves by selfishness and indifference; they do not fall easily into the error of despair; they are considerably braver than most grownups. Our responsibility to them is not to pretend that if we don't look, evil will go away, but to give them weapons against it." — Madeleine L'Engle (A Circle of Quiet (Crosswicks Journals #1))

7. "More often than not, people who are obsessed with their desires and feelings are generally unhappier in life vs. people that refocus their attention on service to others or a righteous cause. Have you ever heard someone say their life sucked because they fed the homeless? Made their children laugh? Or, bought a toy for a needy child at Christmas time?" — Shannon L. Alder

8. "Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said. It is a process in which individuals communicate to another that the opinions and emotions of the target are invalid, irrational, selfish, uncaring, stupid, most likely insane, and wrong, wrong, wrong. Invalidators let it be known directly or indirectly that their targets views and feelings do not count for anything to anybody at any time or in any way." — David M. Allen

11. "Remember, your goodness as a person isn’t based on how much you give in relationships, and it isn’t selfish to set limits on people who keep on taking." — Lindsay C. Gibson (Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents)

12. "It is a healthy approach not to expect persons to turn out precisely how you would have wished." — Criss Jami (Healology)

13. "It is the selfish parents who are to blame. Pay attention, be involved in your children’s lives. They are your legacy, your only hope." — Aaron B. Powell (Benjamin)

14. "I catch myself thinking 'Thank God For This' out of habit, and then I understand what he's so concerned about. What if my parents' God, their whole belief system, is just something concocted by a bunch of scientists to keep us under control? And not just their beliefs about God and whatever else is out there, about right and wrong, about selfishness?" — Veronica Roth (Allegiant (Divergent, #3))

15. "Given the reality of unintended parenthood and parental unhappiness, one would think that women and men who make the decision not to have children - who are deliberate and thoughtful about the choice to bring another person into the world - would be seen as less selfish than those who unthinkingly have children. Yet the stigma remains." — Jessica Valenti (Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness)

16. "Society tried to teach me that children are by nature selfish, out-of-control, and demanding, that their goal is power and that they are always trying to see how much they can get away with, that you can't let children manipulate you or become too dependant, and that disobedience equals disrespect. As a mother, I have come to believe strongly that my child's primary goals are having his needs met, feeling connected to others, and feeling self-worth. His misbehavior is an attempt to get a need met or to feel significance and connection, done in an appropriate way.... my job as a parent is to help my child identify and meet those needs in appropriate ways." - Lisa S." — Hilary Flower (Adventures in Gentle Discipline: A Parent-to-Parent Guide)

17. "We can surely no longer pretend that our children are growing up into a peaceful, secure, and civilized world. We've come to the point where it's irresponsible to try to protect them from the irrational world they will have to live in when they grow up. The children themselves haven't yet isolated themselves by selfishness and indifference; they do not fall easily into the error of despair; they are considerably braver than most grownups. Our responsibility to them is not to pretend that if we don't look, evil will go away, but to give them weapons against it." — Madeleine L'Engle (A Circle of Quiet (Crosswicks Journals #1))

18. "You are the biggest fool of a boy I've ever known," Mott said. Then his tone softened. "But you will serve Carthya well.""I wish I felt ready to do this," I said. "The closer we come to the moment, the more I see every defect in my character that caused my parents to send me away in the first place.""From all I'm told, the prince they sent away was selfish, mischievous, and destructive. The king who returns is courageous, noble, and strong.""And a fool," I added. Mott chuckled. "You are that too." — Jennifer A. Nielsen (The False Prince (Ascendance, #1))

19. "C. S. Lewis captured this so beautifully in one of my favorite quotes of all time: To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." — Brené Brown (Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.)

20. "More often than not, people who are obsessed with their desires and feelings are generally unhappier in life vs. people that refocus their attention on service to others or a righteous cause. Have you ever heard someone say their life sucked because they fed the homeless? Made their children laugh? Or, bought a toy for a needy child at Christmas time?" — Shannon L. Alder

21. "Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said. It is a process in which individuals communicate to another that the opinions and emotions of the target are invalid, irrational, selfish, uncaring, stupid, most likely insane, and wrong, wrong, wrong. Invalidators let it be known directly or indirectly that their targets views and feelings do not count for anything to anybody at any time or in any way." — David M. Allen

22. "Sometimes we whisper it quietly and other times we shout it out loud in front of a mirror. I hate how I look. I hate how my face looks my body looks I am too fat or too skinny or too tall or too wide or my legs are too stupid and my face is too smiley or my teeth are dumb and my nose is serious and my stomach is being so lame. Then we think, “I am so ungrateful. I have arms and legs and I can walk and I have strong nail beds and I am alive and I am so selfish and I have to read Man’s Search for Meaning again and call my parents and volunteer more and reduce my carbon footprint and why am I such a self-obsessed ugly asshole no wonder I hate how I look! I hate how I am!" — Amy Poehler (Yes Please)

23. "The key is to understand that our children don't belong to us—they belong to God. Our goal as parents must not be limited by our own vision. I am a finite, sinful, selfish man. Why would I want to plan out my children's future when I can entrust them to the infinite, omnipotent, immutable, sovereign Lord of the universe? I don't want to tell God what to do with my children—I want Him to tell me!" — Voddie T. Baucham Jr. (Family Driven Faith: Doing What It Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk With God)

24. "Remember, your goodness as a person isn’t based on how much you give in relationships, and it isn’t selfish to set limits on people who keep on taking." — Lindsay C. Gibson (Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents)

25. "It is a healthy approach not to expect persons to turn out precisely how you would have wished." — Criss Jami (Healology)

26. "It is the selfish parents who are to blame. Pay attention, be involved in your children’s lives. They are your legacy, your only hope." — Aaron B. Powell (Benjamin)

27. "I catch myself thinking 'Thank God For This' out of habit, and then I understand what he's so concerned about. What if my parents' God, their whole belief system, is just something concocted by a bunch of scientists to keep us under control? And not just their beliefs about God and whatever else is out there, about right and wrong, about selfishness?" — Veronica Roth (Allegiant (Divergent, #3))

28. "Given the reality of unintended parenthood and parental unhappiness, one would think that women and men who make the decision not to have children - who are deliberate and thoughtful about the choice to bring another person into the world - would be seen as less selfish than those who unthinkingly have children. Yet the stigma remains." — Jessica Valenti (Why Have Kids?: A New Mom Explores the Truth About Parenting and Happiness)

29. "Society tried to teach me that children are by nature selfish, out-of-control, and demanding, that their goal is power and that they are always trying to see how much they can get away with, that you can't let children manipulate you or become too dependant, and that disobedience equals disrespect. As a mother, I have come to believe strongly that my child's primary goals are having his needs met, feeling connected to others, and feeling self-worth. His misbehavior is an attempt to get a need met or to feel significance and connection, done in an appropriate way.... my job as a parent is to help my child identify and meet those needs in appropriate ways." - Lisa S." — Hilary Flower (Adventures in Gentle Discipline: A Parent-to-Parent Guide)

30. "I wondered if parents had an easier time with the secrets their children kept than children did with the secrets of their parents. A parent's secrets seemed like some sort of betrayal, where my own just seemed like a fact of life and growing up and away. I was supposed to be independent, but he was supposed to be available. Him having his own life seemed selfish, where me having my own was the right order of things." — Deb Caletti (Stay)

31. "Children fail to realize that a mother doesn’t have to provide their “wants”. Her bags are heavy because they are filled by everyone’s “wants”. There isn’t one “want” in the bags a mother is carrying that belongs to her. She looks past her self-fulfillment. She feels as though her wants and needs are not important; therefore, they are never on the list. Children cannot see past their selfish ways. By law, a parent is supposed to provide shelter, food, clothing, make sure their children attend schools and have their annual health checkups. A mother isn’t required to put her children in extracurricular activities; that is a choice.Friends come and go; a marriage may last or fail, but once you’re a mother there is no such thing as divorcing your children. Being a mother is the hardest job ever; it is “till death do you part”. As a mother, you try your best to make sure your children do not make the same mistakes that you did." — Charlena E. Jackson (A Woman's Love Is Never Good Enough)

32. "Love without humility results in the inclination to act as everyone's parent, humility without love results in the need to be everyone's child, and love with humility results in the desire to be a friend." — Criss Jami (Healology)

33. "Our lives were short, and we never would have wanted to have them be shorter. Sometimes perspective comes far too late. You cannot trust yourself. You think you can, but you can’t. Not because you are selfish. You cannot live for anyone else’s sake. As much as you may want to, you can’t stay alive just because other people want you alive. You cannot stay alive for your parents. You cannot stay alive for your friends. And you have no responsibility to stay alive for them. You have no responsibility to anyone but yourself to live." — David Levithan (Two Boys Kissing)

34. "Family and friends become oppressors the moment they teach you that loyalty is more important than what is done to people outside your social circle. What they are really saying is this: Save yourself because God is more interested in an intact family or social circle that looks righteous, rather than you being a person of integrity that has compassion for others. It is this absurdity that teaches the wrong version of God and creates the next generation of "me" centered individuals." — Shannon L. Alder

35. "The respectable family that supports worthless relatives or covers up their crimes in order to "protect the family name"(as if the moral stature of one man could be damaged by the actions of another)-the bum who boasts that his great-grandfather was an empire-builder, or the small-town spinster who boasts that her maternal great-uncle was a state senator and her third cousin gave a concert at carnegie hall (as if the achievement of one man could rub off on the mediocrity of another)-the parents who search geneological trees in order to evaluate their prospective son-in-law.-the celebrity who starts his autobiography with a detailed account of his family history -All these are samples of racism." — Ayn Rand (The Virtue of Selfishness: A New Concept of Egoism)

36. "Most of us are painfully aware that we’re not perfect parents. We’re also deeply grieved that we don’t have perfect kids. But the remedy to our mutual imperfections isn’t more law, even if it seems to produce tidy or polite children. Christian children (and their parents) don’t need to learn to be “nice.” They need death and resurrection and a Savior who has gone before them as a faithful high priest, who was a child himself, and who lived and died perfectly in their place. They need a Savior who extends the offer of complete forgiveness, total righteousness, and indissoluble adoption to all who will believe. This is the message we all need. We need the gospel of grace and the grace of the gospel. Children can’t use the law any more than we can, because they will respond to it the same way we do. They’ll ignore it or bend it or obey it outwardly for selfish purposes, but this one thing is certain: they won’t obey it from the heart, because they can’t. That’s why Jesus had to die." — Elyse M. Fitzpatrick (Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus)

37. "The world is a cruel mother, a matron of darkness, selfishness, greed, and misery. For most, their time suckling at her breast is naught but a scramble through stinging, tearing briars before a naked, shameful collapse as the flesh gives out. And yet in the bright eyes of every newborn, there lies a spark, a potential for goodness, the possibility of a life worth living. That spark deserves its chance. And though most of them will turn out to be as worthless as the parents who sired them, while the cruelty of the earth will tell them to release their innocence and join in the drawing of daggers, every now and then one manages to clutch to its beauty and refuses to release it into the dark." — Ed McDonald (Blackwing (Raven's Mark, #1))

38. "Your love life is insignificant when it comes to raising your children to be respectable human beings. The moment you see them suffer or lower their standards because of your selfishness, is the day you should realize that nothing matters more than them. You are not just the queen or king of your fairy tale. The real story of your life is the gift of time God gave you with them." — Shannon L. Alder

39. "Most parents are not really ‘supportive’ because they want their kid(s) to succeed; they ‘support’ their kid(s) as an attempt to avoid appearing to have bred a failure, or, failures … in the eyes of their peers and/or neighbours." — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

40. "It is a terrible thing to feel sorry for one’s mother or indeed father. And it’s an additionally awful thing to feel this and to know the impotence of the adolescent to do anything at all about it. Worse still, perhaps, is the selfish consolation that it isn’t really one’s job to rear one’s parents." — Christopher Hitchens (Hitch 22: A Memoir)

42. "Doctor Spielvogel, it alleviates nothing fixing the blame - blaming is still ailing, of course, of course - but nonetheless, what was it with these Jewish parents, what, that they were able to make us little Jewish boys believe ourselves to be princes on the one hand, unique as unicorns on the one hand, geniuses and brilliant like nobody has ever been brilliant and beautiful before in the history of childhood - saviors and sheer perfection on the one hand, and such bumbling, incompetent, thoughtless, helpless, selfish, evil little shits, little ingrates, on the other!" — Philip Roth (Portnoy's Complaint)

43. "I was talking about children that have not been properly house-trained. Left to their own impulses and indulged by doting or careless parents almost all children are yahoos. Loud, selfish, cruel, unaffectionate, jealous, perpetually striving for attention, empty-headed, for ever prating or if words fail them simply bawling, their voices grown huge from daily practice: the very worst company in the world. But what I dislike even more than the natural child is the affected child, the hulking oaf of seven or eight that skips heavily about with her hands dangling in front of her -- a little squirrel or bunny-rabbit -- and prattling away in a baby's voice." — Patrick O'Brian (The Truelove (Aubrey & Maturin #15))

44. "I want to be oblivious to the hurt written on her face. I want to be selfish and young and normal. M would be that way. She would need space to grieve. She would rebel because her parents were simply uncool, not because one was wearing a horrifying happy mask and the other was a living ghost. She’d be distant because she was preoccupied with boys or school, not because she’s tired from hunting down the Histories of the dead, or distracted by her new hotel-turned-apartment, where the walls are filled with crimes." — Victoria Schwab (The Archived (The Archived, #1))

45. "Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens 'till parents stop clenching their fists around precious things and people, let go, & trust God!" — Gary Patton

46. "Anyone could father a child. But a good parent puts his child's needs before his own. A parent should be selfless not selfish." — Penelope Ward (Playboy Pilot)

47. "little children never get frozen by their selfishness. Like the disciples, they come just as they are, totally self-absorbed. They seldom get it right. As parents or friends, we know all that. In fact, we are delighted (most of the time!) to find out what is on their little hearts. We don’t scold them for being self-absorbed or fearful. That is just who they are." — Paul Miller (A Praying Life)

48. "I was so moved that she remembered my birthday that I cried harder than I had in years. When I returned her call, she told me her computer was broken and she couldn't afford to replace it. My heart fell. As I had done so many times before, I went to her rescue. Still on the phone, I went online and bought her a new laptop, top-of-the-line. That was what she had really called for, She thanked me and hung up. I went to Casey, sobbing. Soon afterward, I closed the bank account and asked my mom to not ask me for any more gifts or money. Now my relationship with my mom is very limited, and it's still very painful for me. She continues to occasionally send me bills she can't pay. I respond by telling her that I love her but I cannot pay her bills." — Olga Trujillo (The Sum of My Parts: A Survivor's Story of Dissociative Identity Disorder)

49. "The Army and the SAS had been his dream--his chance to be somebody, save lives, show his parents he was worth something. Being a soldier had been his escape, his flight from the demons that bound him. War is a cold, selfish bitch. It changes you. It makes you hard, and it makes you hurt, yet somehow, we keep going back for more." — Kate McCarthy (Fighting Redemption)

50. "Parents are programmed to want the best for their kids, regardless of what they get in return. That's what love is supposed to be like, right? But in fact, if you think about it, that's kind of a strange belief. Given what we know about the way people really are. Selfish and shortsighted and egotistical and needy. Why should being a parent, in and of itself, somehow confer superior-personhood on everybody who tries it? Obviously it doesn't." — Jonathan Franzen (Freedom)

51. "Parents raise children then grow old, and their children forget the things their old parents did for them, because their brains don’t remember before they grew selfish. There are buildings all over the world full of old people sitting around looking out of windows, full of hate for their selfish sons and daughters. And meanwhile, the selfish sons and daughters look out of their windows at their children playing and think how wonderful their unbreakable bond of love is between them and their children." — Craig Stone (How to Hide from Humans)

52. "Narcissistic parents don’t really recognize their children as people separate from them. Instead, they see their children as little extensions of themselves. The needs of the child are defined by the needs of the parent, and the child who tries to express his needs is often accused of being selfish or inconsiderate." — Jonice Webb (Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect)

53. "Not a few millions of parents strongly hope that their own children will step in by instantly becoming their own parents’ foster parents, if and when the parents reach their second childhood." — Mokokoma Mokhonoana (The Use and Misuse of Children)

54. "You have to recognize your inability to love before you can love the way God loves. His version of love is unfamiliar to the natural world; It is sacrificial and selfless and the most beautiful love you could experience." — Shannon L. Alder

55. "Many a parent, sad to say, has used their child as an opportunity for them, the parent, to do, through their child, something or some of the things that they, the parent, did not do or did not do successfully." — Mokokoma Mokhonoana (The Use and Misuse of Children)

56. "Fathers of the fatherless sons and daughters, your spitefulness isn’t hurting the Chief Guardians. Your bitter ways are hurting your flesh and blood – your sons and daughters. Your deceptions are the dimensions of you. Your sons and daughters are a blueprint of you in so many ways, such as their height, features at every angle, physical appearance, size, and at times, the version of their character and attitude. Fathers of the fatherless sons and daughters, you failed to realize your children are a blueprint of you. However, you are all so selfish you do not see your blueprint, the blueprint that you’ve created. You are put here to help and show them the way. You are the one who’s supposed to lay out the design plan for your sons and daughters." — Charlena E. Jackson (Dear fathers of the fatherless children)

57. "Chronic selfishness and parenting do not go together. Bonded" — Shannon Thomas (Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse)

58. "Fathers of the fatherless sons and daughters, you failed to realize your children are a blueprint of you. However, you are all so selfish you do not see your blueprint, the blueprint that you’ve created. You are put here to help and show them the way. You are the one who’s supposed to lay out the design plan for your sons and daughters." — Charlena E. Jackson (Dear fathers of the fatherless children)

59. "Dear Fathers of the Fatherless Children, Your definition of “family structure” is being a father that is selfish, a slacker, “sperm donor,” and a self-centered person because you’re only looking out for yourself." — Charlena E. Jackson (Dear fathers of the fatherless children)

60. "When you get born your father and mother lost something out of themselves, and they are going to bust a ham trying to get it back, and you are it. They know they can't get it all back but they will get as big a chunk out of you as they can." — Robert Penn Warren (All the King's Men)

61. "Children are also given to us to help us personally mature as parents. They teach us how to stop being so selfish and to give sacrificially. They pull us out of our comfort zones and stretch our abilities. They repeat our words and test our integrity. They expose our pride and deepen our humility. They help us learn to love more willingly. They enter this world as if to say, “Here I am, a mirror to reveal you, ready clay for you to mold. I am given to bear your name and reflect your likeness. I am more valuable than anything you own, and I could become your greatest investment in the world." — Stephen Kendrick (The Love Dare for Parents)

62. "Obviously, the more kids who are vaccinated, the better our country is protected and the less likely it is that any child will die from a disease. Some parents, however, aren't willing to risk the very rare side effects of vaccines, so they choose to skip the shots. Their children benefit from herd immunity (the protection of all the vaccinated kids around them) without risking the vaccines themselves. Is this selfish? Perhaps. But as parents you have to decide. Are you supposed to make decisions that are good for the country as a whole? Or do you base your decision on what's best for your own child as an individual? Can we fault parents for putting their own child's health ahead of the other kids' around him?" — Robert W. Sears (The Vaccine Book: Making the Right Decision for Your Child)

63. "I had never confronted my parents with the true feelings I had for them, and I had certainly never expressed the depth of my feeling for my mother, being too selfish to try when I should have." — Brooke Hayward

64. "becomes self-evident to any parent that the pain of loving and caring for another thing is better than the ease of not. I will admit even fur parents know this secret. Parenthood begins as an expression of narcissism, of personal genetic redoubling; but that selfishness is quickly burned away in the crucible of tears, vomit, fevers, and close calls; and it is repaid only in the incalculable joy of seeing someone else thrive in happiness and apart from you. You disappear, and it is a fucking relief." — John Hodgman (Medallion Status: True Stories from Secret Rooms)

65. "But birth control can also be compelled by sinful motivations. These can include putting lesser priorities like career above higher priorities like family or greedily wanting to make as much income as possible to the exclusion of everything else, and not incur the costs of child raising; being selfish and not wanting to have to care for a child; or immaturely not wanting to take on the responsibility that good parenting requires." — Mark Driscoll (Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together)

66. "The ambassador doesn’t have any authority in and of himself. He has authority only because he represents a king who has authority. Here’s God’s amazing plan. He makes his invisible authority visible by sending visible authority figures as his representatives. This means that every time you exercise authority in the lives of your children, it must be a beautiful picture of the authority of God. In the lives of your children, you are the look of God’s face, you are the touch of his hand, and you are the tone of his voice. You must never exercise authority in an angry, impatient way. You must never exercise authority in an abusive way. You must never exercise authority in a selfish way. Why? Because you have been put into your position as parent to display before your children how beautiful, wise, patient, guiding, protective, rescuing, and forgiving God’s authority is. This" — Paul David Tripp (Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family)

67. "Satan represents God’s law of love as a law of selfishness. He declares that it is impossible for us to obey its precepts. The fall of our first parents, with all the woe that has resulted, he charges upon the Creator, leading men to look upon God as the author of sin, and suffering, and death. Jesus was to unveil this deception. As one of us He was to give an example of obedience. For this He took upon Himself our nature, and passed through our experiences. “In all things it behooved Him to be made like unto His brethren.” Hebrews 2:17. If we had to bear anything which Jesus did not endure, then upon this point Satan would represent the power of God as insufficient for us. Therefore Jesus was “in all points tempted like as we are.” Hebrews 4:15." — Ellen G. White (The Desire of Ages (Conflict of the Ages Series))

68. "Curse on the parents who raise a rude, selfish and arrogant child." — The Philosopher Hakim Orod Bozorg Khorasani

69. "Everyone has the right to live her own life, NO parent can destroy the youth and joy of their child. They use all kinds of excuses to try and cover their selfishness but if the daughter or son do take the bit in their teeth and LIVE the mother always gets on allright." — Annejet van der Zijl (An American Princess: The Many Lives of Allene Tew)

70. "Parents want the best for their children … for themselves." — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

71. "The idea behind both concepts is that there must be an accounting, a ledger in the hearts and histories of a family. As if accepting a sum or taking a life will fill the void of the loss of a loved one.""It can't fill the void, but it can make things even," Adam said."No. It does not. What you get is a deficit of two.""Then both are at an equal loss." Adam took a deep drag on his beer."And how does this loss serve the memory of the loved one?""It doesn't ... [v]engeance is selfish," Adam continued. "I've never tried to hide that.""Ah," Philip said. "Now we get to the heart of it. Adam, here is my question for you. Would you trade your claim to vengeance to set your brother free?"Talia watched the muscle twitch in Adam's jaw. It was a hard question, an impossible, painful question, especially after learning that Jacob had chosen his current state. Jacob had chosen to take the lives of his parents. He had reduced Adam's world to a haunted hotel with a group of mad scientists. Maybe she should say something. Change the subject.Seen any naked pictures of me today?" — Erin Kellison (Shadow Bound (Shadow, #1))

72. "Our lives were short, and we never would have wanted them to be shorter. Sometimes perspective comes far too late. You cannot trust yourself. You think you can, but you can't. Not because you are selfish. You cannot live for anyone else's sake. As much as you may want to, you can't stay alive just because other people want you alive. You cannot stay alive for your parents. You cannot stay alive for your friends. And you have no responsibility to stay alive for them. You have no responsibility to anyone but yourself to live. But I'm dead, he would tell us. I am already dead. No, we'd argue. No, you are not. We know what it is like to be alive in the present but dead in the future. But you are the opposite. Your future self is still alive. You have a responsibility to your future self, who is someone you might not even know, might not even understand yet. Because until you die, that future self has as much of a life as you do." — David Levithan (Two Boys Kissing)

73. "I thought that there was only one kind of love, one that developed instantaneously and struck you like a bolt of lightning, made you irrational and selfish like it did my parents. I realized too late that love took different forms and the one we had—” He cupped her face. “It was there, the first day we met, growing “gradually from friendship into what’s inside my heart now.” He brought her hand to his chest. “It’s there, steady, constant, making my heart beat for you, making my heart race when you’re near, making my heart sing like a goddamn canary when you’re happy. I never thought this kind of love existed until I had lost you." — Marian Tee (My Dutch Billionaire (My Dutch Billionaire #3))

74. "I have to go.''Just be careful about your expectations..''I want her to apologize.''Sweetheart,' Jean said, 'your mother is never going to apologize... Go see her if you need to. But remember who she is. Going to your mother for understanding is like going to the hardware store for bread." — Katherine Center (The Lost Husband)

75. "More often than not, it’s disrespectful to them (our children) - and disrespectful to their struggle with their tasks in life- if our own anxiety as parents makes us cling to our children. It’s disrespectful is we demand more intimacy than they are willing or able to give. Too much involvement with our children is not an act of love- it’s an act of selfishness." — Daniel Gottlieb (Voices in the Family: A Therapist Talks About Listening, Openness Healing)

76. "Would you be a good parent if you despised your children? Would you be a good officer if you didn’t care about the lives of your soldiers?" — Tucker Carlson (Ship of Fools: How a Selfish Ruling Class Is Bringing America to the Brink of Revolution)

77. "Virtue, though often mocked and ridiculed, is as beautiful as wickedness is ugly. Self-denial curiously spawns joyful happiness, while selfishness and arrogance produce desperation and obsession. Being faithful to duty brings great fulfillment, while following unchecked passions eventually leads us to despise ourselves. And the greatest truth of all: There is no higher end, no more glorious life, no better aim, than to live in the fear and favor of Almighty God." — Gary L. Thomas (Devotions for Sacred Parenting: A Year of Weekly Devotions for Parents)

78. "I think about all the people I need to forgive.My mother for not saying she loves me? We're too often guilty of thinking that our parents arrived on this planet as fully functioning adults on the day that we were born. That they don't have pasts of their own prior to our birth. That the father is not also a son, that the mother is not also a child. My mother had a tough beginning, enduring things I know little about. And yet I more often discount her pain and overvalue mine. This is suddenly funny to me, ridiculously selfish, and I laugh and the outburst is startling. I lie still as the sound launches skyward like a rocket, reaches the stratosphere, then quietly falls back to earth in the form of a quote I once read: Yours is by far the harder lot, but mine is happening to me. In this moment, I miss my mother." — Steven Rowley (Lily and the Octopus)

79. "When we can trust that it's we who think, feel, and act rather than the ghosts of our parents or well-trained robots, we learn that we can also love, be in relationships, and be in the world without losing ourselves." — Bud Harris (Sacred Selfishness: A Guide to Living a Life of Substance)

80. "Respond to your children with love intheir worst momentstheir broken momentstheir angry momentstheir selfish momentstheir lonely momentstheir frustrated momentstheir inconvenient momentsbecause it is in their mostunlovable human momentsthat they most need to feel loved." — L.R. Knost

81. "But Nita had always seen having a child as selfish. Why bring another soul into this world, she'd say, when there are so many out there that need our help?" — Ramez Naam (Crux (Nexus, #2))

82. "An approach, according to which children should fulfil their parents’ dreams/ do everything in order to make their parents happy/ provide their parents with a peace of mind, or whatever they want for themselves - because they owe it to them for all those years in which their parents took care of them - is utterly selfish." — Lukasz Laniecki (You Have The Right Not To Make Your Parents Proud. A Book Of Quotes)

83. "The freest people in the world are those who have senses of inner peace about themselves: They simply refuse to be swayed by the whims of others, and are quietly effective at running their own lives. These people enjoy freedom from role definitions in which they must behave in certain ways because they are parents, employees, Americans, or even adults; they enjoy freedom to breathe whatever air they choose, in whatever location, without worrying about how everyone else feels about their choices. They are responsible people, but they are not enslaved by other people's selfish interpretations of what responsibility is." — Wayne W. Dyer (Pulling Your Own Strings)

84. "The Realistic Vision recognizes the need for strict moral education through parents, family, friends, and community because people have a dual nature of being selfish and selfless, competitive and cooperative, greedy and generous, and so we need rules and guidelines and encouragement to do the right thing." — Michael Shermer (Brain, Belief, and Politics (Cato Unbound Book 92011))

85. "How did you get through it?” I asked her. I was hoping she was going to recommend a book, a pill, some quick fix to make this feeling of inadequacy go away.Instead, she looked at me kindly, quite earnestly, and said, “You know, I think after years and years, I learned to stop giving a fuck. If people I knew, friends or relatives or strangers or whoever, had an opinion about what kind of mother I was or wasn’t, if they thought I was making mistakes, or doing things the wrong way, being too this or too that, being selfish by not giving all of myself to my kids, I eventually decided, fuck ’em. I’m doing the best I can in a culture that offers parents little material or emotional support. If people have a problem with the way I’m doing it, fuck every last one of them. And it’s funny—that anger—that was what got me to a place where I could finally stop caring and enjoy the little monsters. That’s when I started feeling better." — Kim Brooks (Small Animals: Parenthood in the Age of Fear)

86. "selfishness; but if you have any, get rid of it as soon as possible. Be generous and noble hearted, kind to your parents, brothers, sisters and playmates. Never contend with them; but try to make peace whenever you can. Whenever you are blessed with any good thing, be willing to share it with others. By cultivating these principles while you are young, you will lay a foundation to do much good through your lives, and you will be beloved and respected of the Lord and all good men. " — Wilford Woodruff (Leaves From My Journal, by Wilford Woodruff)

87. "Still, I’ve come to believe there are times when a family is so broken it can’t be put back together, or mended — times when the repair job isn’t worth the price. But that assessment isn’t to be made lightly, and cannot be made without calling into question one’s own essential goodness. Breaking from your parents is a selfish move, but sometimes selfishness is justified. What I know is this: When I made the decision to stop speaking to my parents, I made the decision to be happy." — Jessica Berger Gross (Estranged (Kindle Single))

88. "Children do not always appreciate their parents encouraging them to explore and grow. The selfishness of a child manifests itself in his or her intent to remain a child and never enter an adult world of distress, disappointment, and jadedly surrendering an envisioned life by making commitments that limit boundless options." — Kilroy J. Oldster (Dead Toad Scrolls)

89. "I want to see little children adorning every home, as flowers adorn every meadow and every way-side. I want to see them welcomed to the homes they enter, to see their parents grow less and less selfish and more and more loving, because they have come. I want to see God's precious gifts accepted, not frowned upon and refused." — Elizabeth Payson Prentiss (Stepping Heavenward)

90. "Motherhood is the last area in which the qualities we usually value—rationality, independent thinking, consulting our own best interests, planning for a better, more prosperous future, and dare I say it, pursuing happiness and dreams—are condemned as frivolity and selfishness. We certainly don’t expect a man who accidentally impregnates a woman to drop everything and accept a life of difficulties and dimmed hopes in order to co-parent a baby. No college for you, young man—maybe you can pick up some courses later, when your child is in school." — Katha Pollitt (Pro: Reclaiming Abortion Rights)

91. "This is what my mother and I don't talk about: That it is not my fault she is so profoundly unhappy with her life. That she had a chance to know me—really know me, as an adult and an artist and a human being—and she blew it. That I have not regretted our estrangement for one single second; in fact, I keep waiting for the regret to appear and being surprised when it doesn't. That I feel bad for her that she is so dissatisfied with her own life; I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. That I miss what we had when I was a kid, but I'm not a kid anymore, and I will never be again. And that the thing that keeps me from tackling parenthood with eagerness is not, really, money or ambition or hypochondria or selfishness. Rather, it's the fear that I've learned less from my childhood than I should have, that I am more like her than I want to be." — Carmen Maria Machado

92. "Are parents ever really happy with their children? Will they ever be good enough?” He shakes his head. “My children wouldn’t be. Not many people have the drive I do, so I’d only be setting them up for failure. That’s why I’ll never have any.” “I actually think that’s respectable, Ryle. A lot of people refuse to admit they might be too selfish to have children." — Colleen Hoover (It Ends with Us)

93. "Sometimes perspective comes far too late. You cannot trust yourself. You think you can, but you can’t. Not because you are selfish. You cannot live for anyone else’s sake. As much as you may want to, you can’t stay alive just because other people want you alive. You cannot stay alive for your parents. You cannot stay alive for your friends. And you have no responsibility to stay alive for them. You have no responsibility to anyone but yourself to live." — David Levithan (Two Boys Kissing)

94. "Such was the problem before our first parents: to remain forever at selfish ease in the Garden of Eden, or to face unselfishly tribulation and death, in bringing to pass the purposes of the Lord for a host of waiting spirit children. They chose the latter. This they did with open eyes and minds as to consequences. The memory of their former estates may have been dimmed, but the gospel had been taught them during their sojourn in the Garden of Eden. They could not have been left in complete ignorance of the purpose of their creation." — John A. Widtsoe

95. "Iano ordered her back to Ivins to finish her degree in biology. Willa wondered when he would notice Tig was immune to his directives. Tig informed her parents she refused to take out bank loans, with tuition exchange no longer an option, and anyway she’d already learned more than she wanted to know about a ravaged biosphere. The latter was no news to Willa, who’d seen how the girl always took the truth of human selfishness harder than any of her friends, even the history majors." — Barbara Kingsolver (Unsheltered)

96. "11 pm: Heart’s pounding, hands shaking. Have these knots in my stomach. But drinking isn’t an option. Maa is sleeping with me. Baba in Lalitaji’s room. And she on the sofa. Want to step into the toilet, take one swig, and then go directly to sleep. How the hell will Maa know? I mean she’s sleeping like a log. No, no, shouldn’t. What if she wakes up? She’s a light sleeper, after all.11.30 pm: No wine. Or vodka. Terrible, terrible night. When will they go back to Kolkata and let me be?11.32 pm: Chhi . . .Chhi . . . How selfish am I? My parents, one with a heart condition, spent thousands on flight tickets and landed in Chennai. Why? Because they wanted to spend time with their widowed daughter. And what does the daughter want? To sneak into the toilet and take one good swig of wine. Shame on her! Okay, now I’m being over-dramatic." — Chitrangada Mukherjee (Secret Diary of an Incurable Romantic (Um...and a closet alcoholic))

97. "My conclusion is that contrary to popular belief, atheism is not primarily an intellectual revolt, it is a moral revolt. Atheists don’t find God invisible so much as objectionable. They aren’t adjusting their desires to the truth, but rather the truth to fit their desires. This is something we can all identify with. It is a temptation even for believers. We want to be saved as long as we are not saved from our sins. We are quite willing to be saved from a whole host of social evils, from poverty to disease to war. But we want to leave untouched the personal evils, such as selfishness and lechery and pride. We need spiritual healing, but we do not want it. Like a supervisory parent, God gets in our way. This is the perennial appeal of atheism: it gets rid of the stern fellow with the long beard and liberates us for the pleasures of sin and depravity. The atheist seeks to get rid of moral judgment by getting rid of the judge." — Dinesh D'Souza (What's So Great About Christianity)

98. "...a poor child's agony is just as often for her parents as it is for herself. You could say that is still a selfish impulse, because in order for a child to survive, her parents must survive, too. But I felt my family's burden as my own well past childhood." — Sarah Smarsh (Heartland: A Memoir of Working Hard and Being Broke in the Richest Country on Earth)

99. "You are not my father."So it all meant nothing, all those years of shared jokes, of affection, of defending her, of caring for her children, of assisting her and Hector with money and time. Love and family meant nothing to her? Nothing mattered to her at this moment but her pride. Did she think she was being brave in disobeying him? She, Hector, the whole mad lot of them, they knew nothing of courage. Everything had been given to them, everything had been assumed as rightfully theirs. She even believed her defense of her friend was the matter of honour. One war, one bomb, one misfortune and she would fall apart. He meant noting to her because like all of them she was truly selfish. She had no idea of the world and so she believed her drama to be significant. [........] She had no humility and no generosity. Monsters, they had bred monsters." — Christos Tsiolkas (The Slap)

100. "From what I’ve observed, a poor child’s agony is just as often for her parents as it is for herself. You could say that is still a selfish impulse, because in order for a child to survive, her parents must survive, too. But I felt my family’s burden as my own well past childhood." — Sarah Smarsh (Heartland: A Memoir of Working Hard and Being Broke in the Richest Country on Earth)

101. "I remember being taught all about how Japan was created by the gods, for instance. How we as a nation were divine and supreme. We had to memorize the text book word for word. Some things aren’t such a loss, perhaps.’ “But Jim, things aren’t as simple as that. You clearly don’t understand how such things worked. Things aren’t nearly as simple as you presume. We devoted ourselves to ensuring that proper qualities were handed down, that children grew up with the correct attitude to their country, to their fellows. There was a spirit in Japan once, it bound us all together. Just imagine what it must be like being a young boy today. He’s taught no values at school — except perhaps that he should selfishly demand whatever he wants out of life. He goes home and finds his parents fighting because his mother refuses to vote for his father’s party. What a state of affairs." — Kazuo Ishiguro (A Pale View of Hills)

102. "Dante and I were cursed with parents who cared. Why couldn't they just leave us alone? What ever happened to parents who were too busy or too selfish or just didn't give a shit about what their sons did?" — Benjamin Alire Sáenz (Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Aristotle and Dante, #1))

103. "My Dad did nothing to elevate himself, for selflessness was a trait within himself that compelled him to live outside of himself. And while I doubt that he ever grasped the immensity of his selflessness as it was unleashed into the lives of his children, that forever unleashed life within us that is now being unleashed outside of us." — Craig D. Lounsbrough

104. "Having anticipated the onward march of our selfish genes, many of us are unprepared for children who present unfamiliar needs. Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger, and the more alien the stranger, the stronger the whiff of negativity." — Andrew Solomon (Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity)

105. "Being a 'good' parent is more about the parent, and, less about the 'supposedly-could-have-been-bad' child." — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

106. "A of my parents floats into my head the moment I close my eyes. Once when I was about 11 I stopped at the doorway to my parents bedroom to watch them make the bed together. My father smiled at my mother as the pulled the sheets back and pulled them back in perfect synchronicity. I knew by the way he looked at her that he held her in a higher regard than he did himself no selfishness or insecurity kept him from seeing the full extent of her goodness as it so often with the rest of us. That love might only be possible in Abmigation. I do not know my father Erudite born Abnigation grown he often found it difficult to live up to the demands of his chosen faction just as I did but he tried and he knew true selflessness when he saw it." Tris saw the true meaning of love through her parents versus Tobias only saw abuse and grief and his perception of what a relationship or love should be is obviously be." — Veronica Roth

107. "They hated it when people spoke of “the condition,” because conditions are untouchable. They wanted to have a face, a perpetrator. They needed someone to drown under the weight of all the guilt, because otherwise they themselves would be dragged beneath the surface. They were so selfish, they know that, but when they didn’t have anyone to punish there was only the sky left to scream at, and then their rage was too great for any human being to bear. They wanted an enemy. Now they’ve got one. And now they don’t know if they ought to sit next to their daughter or hunt down the person who harmed her, if they ought to help her live or see to it that he dies. Unless they’re the same thing. Hate is so much easier than its opposite. * * * Parents don’t heal. Nor do children." — Fredrik Backman (Beartown (Beartown, #1))

108. "Even with men doing more parenting than before, the majority of women are still left facing the well-rehearsed motherhood-versus-career dichotomy. But it's not a dichotomy; its a socially organized choice masquerading as a natural one." — Meghan Daum (Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids)

109. "Every day, I try to be my own parent - the parent I never had." — Danielle Henderson (Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids)

110. "Teach the children compassion and empathy, for all creatures are born selfish." — Abhijit Naskar

111. "By definition, the conventional wisdom of the day is widely accepted, continually reiterated and regarded not as ideology but as reality itself. Rebelling against “reality,” even when its limitations are clearly perceived, is always difficult. It means deciding things can be different and ought to be different; that your own perceptions are right and the experts and authorities wrong; that your discontent is legitimate and not merely evidence of selfishness, failure or refusal to grow up. […] rebels risk losing their jobs, failing in school, incurring the wrath of parents and spouses, suffering social ostracism. Often vociferous conservatism is sheer defensiveness: People are afraid to be suckers, […] to be branded bad or crazy." — Ellen Willis

112. "It is often difficult to admit that someone you love is not perfect or to consider aspects of a person that are less than admirable. To the Baudelaires it felt almost as if they had drawn a line after their parents died. A secret line in their memories separating all the wonderful things about the Baudelaire parents from the things that were perhaps not quite so wonderful. Since the fire whenever they thought of their parents the Baudelaires never stepped over this secret line preferring to ponder the best moments the family had together rather than any of the times when they had fought, been unfair, or selfish." — Lemony Snicket

113. "And the horrible thing was: what if they were right? What if she lived her whole life and never really knew what love was? What if it was deeper than she ever imagined? What if she died without ever knowing what she missed? How would she know to even miss it? Love--deep, profound, soul-stirring love--happened on this planet, in this life. And she missed it.On the other hand, her mother had a point: babies were awful. They were selfish, greedy, expensive and ultimately resentful of what they later would decide you had withheld from them. You were, in effect, creating someone uniquely fine-tuned to discern your slightest faults and broadcast them from the highest point." — Jennifer Vandever (American Tango)

114. "Some might call my trepidation at the idea of motherhood “selfishness”—I would call it “agency”—but those people are probably either (1) dudes or (2) self-satisfied professional parents, and I’m not sure I care enough about their opinions that I wouldn’t just agree with them and shrug my shoulders in shared chagrin." — Anna Holmes (Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids)

115. "suppose we as children are selfish by nature, judging our parents in the context not of their worlds and challenges but of our worlds and how they meet our needs. Even as we mature we rarely think of them as having been young like us." — Richard Paul Evans (Walking on Water (The Walk, #5))

116. "[Margaret] went to a talk on parenting at the end of the school year where the speaker had said that doing good things, charitable things, was actually a selfish act, because it made you feel good. She has been mulling that ever since. Should she do something selfless, something good? Should she reach out to someone who really needs her forgiveness? Would this make her feel better?" — Janice Y.K. Lee (The Expatriates)

117. "Parents that will do anything for you to be like them are the busiest and most selfish; However no matter what listen and love them for you will be them in the years to come" — Marco King

118. "How can someone tell you, “I love you,” and then mistreat you and abuse you, humiliate you, and disrespect you? That person may claim to love you, but is it really love? If we love, we want the best for those we love. Why put our garbage onto our own children? Why abuse them because we are full of fear and emotional poison? Why blame our parents for our own garbage? People learn to become selfish and to close their hearts so tightly. They are starving for love, not knowing that the heart is a magical kitchen. Your heart is a magical kitchen. Open your heart. Open your magical kitchen, and refuse to walk around the world begging for love. In your heart is all the love you need." — Miguel Ruiz (The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship --Toltec Wisdom Book)

119. "Go," said the count deliberately, "go, dear friend, but promise me, if you meet with any obstacle to remember that I have some power in this world; that I am happy to use that power in the behalf of those I love; and that I love you, Morrel.""I will remember it," said the young man, "as selfish children recollect their parents when they want their aid. When I need your assistance, and the moment may come, I will come to you, count." — Alexandre Dumas (The Count of Monte Cristo)

120. "Sometimes the person who raises you from root is not a person you can trust, even though every sign around you says you are supposed to. Sometimes the roots start rotting long before the tree notices. Sometimes all it takes is watching a mother bird teaching a baby bird how to fly to remind us what our parents are supposed to do, teach us to fly into the world and learn how to look after ourselves in it. Not give you away for the sake of selfish love. Not lock you away in a tower and rob you of the freedom of who you are." — Nikita Gill (Fierce Fairytales: Poems and Stories to Stir Your Soul)

121. "How? It starts by saying “no.” Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person or a mean parent. “No” isn’t a four-letter word. It doesn’t make you a bad employee or selfish. Byron Katie says sometimes, saying “no” to people or projects is actually saying a great big “yes” to yourself. When is the last time you said “no” to reclaim your sanity and serenity? Boundaries aren’t comfortable when you first start setting them. But they’re like the drain plug in Grandpa’s old boat: if you neglect them, you’ll take on more responsibility and pressure than you can possibly keep afloat." — Steve Austin (Catching Your Breath: The Sacred Journey from Chaos to Calm)

122. "I ask you, doctor, what is there in the world more selfish than a baby? Nothing!-The Small Assassin" — Ray Bradbury (The October Country)

123. "Remember, your goodness as a person isn’t based on how much you give in relationships, and it isn’t selfish to set limits on people who keep on taking. Your job is to take care of yourself, regardless of what others think you should be doing for them." — Lindsay C. Gibson (Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents)

124. "When Moses was on the mountaintop, he discovered why God kept putting up with His rebellious, complaining children: God was “compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness” (Exodus 34:6). He let His overflowing love control His anger. Whenever He did choose to be angry and firm, it was only after multiple, extended demonstrations of His compassion and patience. Today, God is still gracious and patient with us as His children. So when we are unlovable and selfish, distracted and disobedient, we need to remember His enduring love for us and let His example of love overflow onto us and our children." — Stephen Kendrick (The Love Dare for Parents)

125. "Selfishness is like a disease that suffocates our capacity to love. While love asks us to deny ourselves for the sake of another, selfishness demands we put ourselves first at their expense. When we choose to be self-centered, we become less kind and content—more needy, sensitive, and demanding. More unsatisfiable. Moodiness and impatience, laziness and irresponsibility, are only selfishness in disguise." — Stephen Kendrick (The Love Dare for Parents)

126. "Now, we must admit that there have been times when one of us dared to utter those taboo words, but Mom quickly cured us of our “boredom” with her nonchalant reply, “Well, if you can’t think of anything to do, I certainly can!” and then she would put us to work! If we as sons and daughters take on a selfish “me-centered” attitude in life, we may begin to feel that our parents owe it to us to provide us with all the latest toys and gadgets, cute cars, and a fancy house. But the Bible says, “And having food and raiment, let us be therewith content” (1 Timothy 6:8). This means we should be content with the most basic necessities of life, and that anything beyond that is an extra bonus, not something we deserve or require." — Jill Duggar (Growing Up Duggar: It's All About Relationships)

127. "A very young child cannot understand that his dad is a sick alcoholic. Children are limited in logical ability. Their earliest way of thinking is through feelings (felt thought). Children are also egocentric. This doesn’t mean they are selfish in the usual meaning of that word. They are not morally selfish. Egocentric thinking means that a child will take everything personally. Even if a parent dies, a child can personalize it." — John Bradshaw (Healing the Shame that Binds You)

128. "Unfortunately, it's not until you've had children that you discover how selfish you actually are. That's one of the paradoxical aspects of becoming a parent: at the very same time you realize precisely how selfish you are, you are forced to become less selfish." — Mark Cleary

129. "The thing is, I think I like kids, more or less. I was an English teacher for a few years before I quit to enter publishing, and I enjoyed most of the work—the performing, the encouraging, the dispensing of door-opening revelations, even the wheedling and dickering you have to do with reluctant, sullen, grade-grubbing teens—but I was driven out of the classroom by the prospect of a life spent correcting papers. Maybe that reflects badly on me, makes me seem selfish or lacking in stick-to-itiveness or community spirit, or maybe it’s just evidence that I’d never have survived as a parent, with all the correcting and explaining that job entails. But believe me, you don’t even have to read sixty eighth-grade essays on To Kill a Mockingbird to suffer an unholy agony. Just carrying them around in your briefcase can bring you to tears from the anticipated tedium." — Bruce Weber (Life is a Wheel: Love, Death, Etc., and a Bike Ride Across America)

130. "the majority of your workers read little but the sporting press, and care for little but betting and sport … You are even getting ready, I see, to feed the children of the poor, and next I suppose you will clothe them as well, winding up by maintaining their parents … you seem bent upon producing a nation of degenerate paupers, not of sturdy men … Your politicians appear ready to promise anything to the working-man, provided it is at somebody else’s expense … You call this democratic government; I call it the rule of the nursery. The children are to govern the wise and far-seeing men – to ruin your State in gratifying their own selfish caprices." — Donald Sassoon (The Anxious Triumph: A Global History of Capitalism, 1860-1914)

131. "The only person who is going to care of your life is You, not even your parents will take the care of your life In this selfish world. So take care, be aware and Make your life fair." — Muralidhar

132. "Sometimes when I look at my parents I wonder how will we... the selfish generation that we are, ever be able to replicate their selfless love and care. Who will cook innumerable delicacies on festivals, welcome guests with open arms, have magic home made remedies for all ailments?" — Nitya Prakash

133. "Children feel secure when they know they are accepted as they are. Let me qualify this before we clarify it. There are attitudes our children might develop that we never have to accept. Selfishness, disrespect, deceit, and any other sinful action does not have to be condoned or tolerated. Just as in our relationship with God, He may love us when we are sinful, but He doesn’t ignore our sin. Just" — Tim Kimmel (Grace-Based Parenting)

134. "I always told myself my parents loved me. Maybe they do, in their very selfish ways. But they should never have left me alone.” “No,” Zoya agreed gently. A tremor of anger threaded through her words, hard and crisp. “How long have you lived by yourself?” “Since I was fourteen." — Honor Raconteur (Imagineer (Imagineer #1))

135. "comes as a genuine shock to parents of children to whom nothing has been denied that they should turn out selfish, demanding and intolerant of the slightest frustration." — Theodore Dalrymple (Spoilt Rotten: The Toxic Cult of Sentimentality)

136. "I used to wish I'd been born a boy. I thought he might have taken an interest in me then. Or perhaps if I were prettier or cleverer."Devon cupped the side of her face, compelling her to look at him. "You're already too pretty and clever by half, darling. And it wouldn't have mattered if you were a boy. That was never the problem. Your parents were a pair of selfish lackwits." His thumb caressed her cheek. "And whatever flaws you might have, being unlovable is not one of them."During that last extraordinary sentence, the quiet volume of his voice fell to a near whisper.She stared at him, transfixed.He hadn't meant to say it, she thought. He undoubtedly regretted it.But their shared gaze remained unbroken. Looking into his dark blue eyes was like drowning, sinking into unfathomable depths from which she might never resurface." — Lisa Kleypas (Cold-Hearted Rake (The Ravenels, #1))

137. "Instead of obsessing over getting them married, what parents must really wish for is that their young adult children find great soulmates. A soulmate is someone who you can relate to and are best friends with; someone that you want to grow old with – and live with all your Life! Some people find their soulmates early and some others find them over time. So, parents’ worrying sick that their children must be married here, now, by a certain age, to a certain ‘category or class’ of people…all this is clearly avoidable stress and effort. A marriage is only a social contract, an irrelevant label. Pushing your children to get married so your duty is done, so you may have grandchildren, is acting selfishly, irresponsibly. Instead encourage your children to do what they love doing, to find love and be loving! Living-in with a BFF trumps being unhappily married – any day!" — AVIS Viswanathan

138. "here, and now I’m punished for my selfishness.” Yoseb rested his blade in the basin. “I will not be all right if you die. Do you understand? You cannot die, my boy. Isak-ah, please don’t die. How can I go on? What will I tell our parents?" — Min Jin Lee (Pachinko)

139. "Parents tend to see their children’s behavior in very naive terms. We see the fight over a toy as simply a fight over a toy, when actually it is a failure to prefer others. It is selfishness. It is saying to others, “I don’t care about what your wishes are; I want to have what I want.” It is a determination to live in the world in a way that exploits every opportunity to serve oneself." — Tedd Tripp (Shepherding a Child's Heart)

140. "Then we think, “I am so ungrateful. I have arms and legs and I can walk and I have strong nail beds and I am alive and I am so selfish and I have to read Man’s Search for Meaning again and call my parents and volunteer more and reduce my carbon footprint and why am I such a self-obsessed ugly asshole no wonder I hate how I look! I hate how I am!" — Amy Poehler (Yes Please)

141. "When we look at the bigger picture, the logic makes sense. Sometimes the things that seem selfish and cruel on the outside can actually be the most selfless and noble acts of all. Making yourself the priority is on that list. I promise, if you focus on yourself first, you will always have enough of you to go around for all your children. Plus, they will be getting a better you." — Jenny Loveless (Parenting: 50 Tips on Building Your Child's Self Esteem)

142. "I think we owe it to our children to share our wisdom. If we share our wisdom for the purpose of changing our children, then that’s hitting them over the head with a hammer or shoving something down their throats. If the wisdom turns into advice, that’s selfish. But if we simply share ourselves and let our children know our hearts, then it’s a gift. And I think it’s a gift we’re responsible for giving them." — Daniel Gottlieb

143. "Most of us are quite selfish when it comes to our children, you know. We want things from them: love, the satisfaction of seeing them do well, and so on. Plenty of parents don't think just of their child's best interest. Oh, they may pay lip service to it, but they really think of themselves, of what they get from parenting." — Alexander McCall Smith (Emma (The Austen Project, #3))

144. "Parents listen to your children! Whenever safe, allow them to guide their lives from their authentic selves." — Jane Wyker (Soul Selfish: The Awakening of a "Good Girl")

145. "Strange though it sounds, if we’re “running out” of anything, it’s people." — Bryan Caplan (Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think)

146. "In the winter, strangers are often shocked to see me wearing shorts." — Bryan Caplan (Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think)

147. "A family which stays together for selfish reasons and not out of love does not stay together for long. When the family is humoured for convenience and necessity, its utility gets over soon. In such cases, children don’t need their parents when they grow up. A wife does not need her husband if she earns her livelihood. A husband may be attracted to a younger and more beautiful woman to fill his life. Parents do not want to waste time and money in bringing up their children who may leave them on growing up and won’t be available in time of need. An investment in a bank would perhaps be more reliable for old age than investment on children." — Awdhesh Singh (Myths are Real, Reality is a Myth)

148. "First with Nina, then with Susan, and finally in the group, Anita learned that she had the right to insist on her need for nourishing communication, that there was no reason she should be deprived of this nourishment, and that she could not live in her mother’s company without paying for it with depression. This insight was sufficient to satisfy her body, which from now on had no reason to remind her of its needs. She had started to respect them, and as long as she was true to her feelings, she was impervious to all accusations of selfishness." — Alice Miller (The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting)

149. "I loved them. I loved my parents, I loved my brother and my sister, but I was selfish, Harry, more selfish than you, who are a remarkably selfless person, could possibly imagine." — J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Harry Potter, #7))

150. "Here is a prayer about being Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve: God, I thank you for making my first parents, Adam and Eve, and for making me like them. Thank you that I can be like you—creative and caring. Help me to love all other people and all the creatures you made on this earth. At the same time, I know I can be like Adam and Eve in their shame—selfish and hurtful. When I do that, please forgive me for Jesus’s sake, and help me to get close to you." — Kenneth McIntosh (Following Aslan: A Book of Devotions for Children)

151. "These church-goers, they talk about respect, and love and peace and all that jazz, and the minute they're out of that church, they're just as mean and selfish as they were before. It's as if going to church gives them the right to act like, well...like assholes. They're not all like that, take out parents. They're Catholics and they're good people. Yes, they are, but what about all those Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland? Blowing each other's brains out over the love of Jesus Christ. That's political. It has nothing to do with religion or, or, or spiritual belief. Yes it does. Every war in the history of the world has had religion at its root. And what about those guys who beat the shit out of their wives while the host is still melting on their tongues? All that does is make one lose respect for organized religion." — Tomson Highway (Kiss of the Fur Queen)

152. "A person whose boundaries are too flexible may feel overwhelmed with life. Each new demand distracts him. He has difficulty setting priorities and following them. He gets started on one thing only to get sidetracked by something else. He may appear disorganized. A too-flexible parent deprives children of the sense of security that comes from having a specific schedule, clear limits, and definite standards. Such a parent isn’t able to protect her own needs and may raise selfish children who never learn to respect the needs of another. A parent who can’t set priorities, who is, for example, perpetually late, can make a child feel unimportant and abandoned. Since he can’t make priorities, he can’t make the child a priority." — Anne Katherine (Boundaries Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries)

153. "There was a time, when I was young, when the world looked very different. Perhaps, the world was the same as it is now and it was people who were different, I don’t know…. My parents used to despise greed, waste, selfishness, and the excessive pursuit of money. How did these values come to rule the world? Don’t we pride ourselves on our ability to rise above them for sake of the common good?" — Sheila Matharu (Darkness)

154. "There is no point in feeling like a huge disappointment because that’s your parents’ job. Let them be disappointed in you and let them compete with their friends in a weekly round of Whose Child is the Worst. In fact, let them win a round or two." — Simona Tomic (How to Disappoint Everybody and Live Happily Ever After: Selfish Bastard’s Handbook)

155. "People Your Age – a secret society of unknown origin with members scattered all over the world. To become a member, one must be super successful in everything an average parent deems important. A good example of People Your Age is a 24-year-old who works two jobs while successfully graduating from college, owns a lovely home decorated by his/her mother, has been married for at least two years, and already has one genius child sleeping and not disturbing in another room, and another one on the way." — Simona Tomic (How to Disappoint Everybody and Live Happily Ever After: Selfish Bastard’s Handbook)

156. "Fear People When we grow up under volatile, immature, chaotic, and selfish family members, we are nurtured to believe that people are scary and cruel. And when we are raised to question our lovability and worth, how can we trust that others will see us as worthy? Because conflict was so high growing up in our toxic family, many of us learned to agree with the poisonous dynamics as a way to find or keep the peace. We may have also lived our lives trying to please and prove our value to our parents." — Sherrie Campbell (But It’s Your Family…: Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members and Loving Yourself in the Aftermath)

157. "little children never get frozen by their selfishness. Like the disciples, they come just as they are, totally self-absorbed. They seldom get it right. As parents or friends, we know all that. In fact, we are delighted (most of the time!) to find out what is on their little hearts. We don’t scold them for being self-absorbed or fearful. That is just who they are." — Paul E. Miller (A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World)

158. "One of the most painful things in the Western States and Territories is the extinction of childhood. I have never seen any children, only debased imitations of men and women, cankered by greed and selfishness, and asserting and gaining complete independence of their parents at ten years old. The atmosphere in which they are brought up is one of greed, godlessness, and frequently of profanity." — Isabella Lucy Bird (Adventures in the Rocky Mountains)

159. "So from this we can see that there is a tension between nature and individual organisms. Everything alive or organic in nature has a finite life and dies eventually—even Methuselah lived less than a thousand years. But it usually dies after reproducing offspring with a genetic code in one way or another different from that of the parents, with their information modified. Methuselah’s genetic information is still present in Damascus, Jerusalem, and, of course, Brooklyn, New York. Nature does not find its members very helpful after their reproductive abilities are depleted (except perhaps special situations in which animals live in groups, such as the need for grandmothers in the human and elephant domains to assist others in preparing offspring to take charge). Nature prefers to let the game continue at the informational level, the genetic code. So organisms need to die for nature to be antifragile—nature is opportunistic, ruthless, and selfish." — Nassim Nicholas Taleb (Antifragile: Things that Gain from Disorder)

160. "I am a woman of very few layers, and most of them are selfish and mean. My parents tried to make me a good girl, but I just wasn’t having it." — Christina Harlin (Deck of Cards)

161. "Children bring an awesome responsibility. We are entrusted with the task of shaping the lives of real people, with all their potential to do good or harm. At times, it is highly inconvenient. They disturb our sleep; they interfere with our plans; they stir up dormant and unresolved passions. And yet, as we seek to teach them, they are teaching us. They teach us what sacrifice is all about. The total dependence of a baby upon us, their powerlessness to reciprocate what we do for them, their inability to say thank you, all lead us to become less selfish. We are forced to change, to grow up, to look at the needs of another, to raise our boredom threshold, to develop patience, to deal with our insecurities, to become more whole. We are learning to love." — Nicky Lee (The Parenting Book)

162. "a good deal of unkindness and selfishness on the part of parents towards children is not generally followed by ill consequences to the parents themselves. They may cast a gloom over their children’s lives for many years without having to suffer anything that will hurt them. I should say, then, that it shows no great moral obliquity on the part of parents if within certain limits they make their children’s lives a burden to them." — Samuel Butler (The Way of All Flesh (Centaur Classics) [The 100 greatest novels of all time - #74])

163. "They are not born reasonable and unselfish; they are born unreasonable and selfish. They want what they want when they want it, and they will have a major fit if they don’t get it. Consequently, it is the parent’s job—and the teacher’s job—to help kids gradually learn frustration tolerance. In accomplishing this goal, adults need to be gentle, consistent, decisive, and calm." — Thomas W. Phelan (1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12)

164. "Chronic selfishness and parenting do not go together" — Anonymous

165. "Hamilton puzzled over the apparently altruistic self-sacrifice of worker bees in forsaking the opportunity to breed in favor of caring for the queen’s young. He realized that the hive’s peculiar genetic structure resulted in workers being so closely related to one another that, in slaving for the queen, they were promoting their own gene pool. It follows that the genetic disposition of a human parent to forgo personal advantage for the sake of his or her child is just a special case of genes selfishly looking out for their own best interests, as is their disposing of the individual who carries them to selfsacrifice (ceteris paribus) for the sake of two siblings, four cousins, or eight secondcousins. There" — Scott Atran (In Gods We Trust: The Evolutionary Landscape of Religion (Evolution and Cognition))

166. "Vaccinating your kids isn’t about parental choice. It’s about verifiable science, public health, and social responsibility, particularly considering the fact that every school classroom I’ve ever visited was a greasy, grimy Petri Dish of germs and airborne snot. Letting your unvaxxed spawn run amok in that hamster cage is not an expression of your freedom. It’s an expression of you being a selfish dick. Or dickette. And will result in creating a new generation of Typhoid Megans and Dylans. The" — Ian Gurvitz (WELCOME TO DUMBFUCKISTAN: The Dumbed-Down, Disinformed, Dysfunctional, Disunited States of America)

167. "what, or to whom? She’d long ago given up on any sort of God—probably while she was still a child—particularly the one forced on her by her parents. It seemed wrong to drag that relationship back into play now simply because she was afraid. It felt two-faced and selfish. She" — Catherine Ryan Hyde (Say Goodbye for Now)

168. "Instead of feeling an urge to fix the problem or make amends, punishment prompts a child to think selfishly. What television shows will she be forced to miss? What dessert will she have to give up? She’s likely to be filled with resentment instead of remorse." — Joanna Faber (How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7)

169. "A lot of people who had terrible childhoods have kids to prove that they can do a better job, or to fix some cosmic rift by being the parents they needed to their own children." — Danielle Henderson (Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids)

170. "Parents are man’s first educators. In a family, man can learn to live and to manifest the presence of God. If Christ is the bond that holds a family together, then it will have an indestructible solidity. In Africa, an important place is reserved for the elderly; the respect due to old people is one of the cornerstones of African society. I think that Europeans do not realize how shocked the peoples of Africa are by how little attention is paid to the elderly in Western countries. This tendency to hide old age and marginalize it is the sign of a worrisome selfishness, heart-lessness, or, more accurately, hard-heartedness. To be sure, old people have all the comfort and the physical care they need. But they lack the warmth, closeness, and human affection of their relatives and friends, who are too busy with the professional obligations, their recreation, and their vacations. Indeed," — Robert Sarah (God or Nothing)

171. "Even when I was at my most uninhibited, wild and carefree and seemingly invincible (in my head), making impulsive, reckless, decisions, even THEN I knew I could not and should not produce a child. I am too selfish to ever put a kid through that. Self-minded people do a lot of amazing thing. Artistically, speaking. But, they are rarely good parents. It's like, I already loved my child so much, I didn't want to disappoint them." — Nicole D'Settēmi

172. "Could you love an alcoholic cruel father, or an amoral mother engaged in prostitution? İf your parents were like that, you would never love them, because they could not give you anything, but instead they would dishonor you. And you will not love your native land, if it promises you the same future. Patriotism beyond selfish interests is more like a psychological disorder than sincere love." — Elmar Hussein

173. "will the machine to move faster, as though he were pedaling a bike and could control the speed. He jumped off at the rehab wing and headed toward Haley’s room. He saw Rich Rodgers standing in the hallway, wearing a pullover sweater with the collar of an oxford shirt peeking out. His hands were in his pockets as he waited. He looked like a tower of bottled energy. He glanced up as Bill approached, and he offered a faint smile. “I guess we got some good news,” he said. “Yes,” Bill said. Rich’s words brought Bill up short. He needed the reminder that Haley being awake was good for more than his own selfish reasons. She had parents who cared. She was a young person who needed to recover. Bill felt some" — David Bell (Bring Her Home)

174. "That is their work, they imply, and they also imply that you, and your actual work, are fine but also neglectful and sad. They don’t say that, though. They say, Don’t worry if you can’t be there, at the mid-fall solstice sing-along, the late-winter sledding-song craft fair and potluck. Not a big deal with the mid-spring parent-student doubles badminton under-the-lights evening funmaker. No problem with the mother-daughter pajama party on every third Wednesday movie day Sound of Music bring your own guitar or lyre. No need to bring treats on your child’s birthday. No need to come in for career day. No need to swing by the opening of the new art studio which features real clay-throwing technology. Don’t care about art? Not an issue. No need, no need, no need, it’s fine, no problem, though you really are selfish and your children doomed. When they are first to try crack—they will try it and love it and sell it to our culture-loving children—we will know why." — Dave Eggers (Heroes of the Frontier)

175. "As a parent, your counter-dependence can set you up to feel, on some level, deeply uncomfortable with the dependence that is naturally built into your relationship with your child. Your own needs were thwarted as a child, and now a small being has lots of needs that you are required to fulfill. You may feel, on some deep or even unconscious level, that this is an unfair bind to be placed in. And now that we’re talking about this openly, I want to assure you that your feeling makes a lot of sense and is valid. You are indeed in an unfair bind. On top of that, society tells you (by seldom airing any negative feelings about parenting) that your feeling of being in an unfair bind is not how a parent is supposed to feel. In addition to the bind, your fear of relying on others may make it difficult for you to ask for help and accept help. All parents get overwhelmed and exhausted at times, and need support and assistance. If relying on other caretakers makes you feel vulnerable or weak or selfish, you will find yourself running on empty." — Jonice Webb (Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children)

176. "Reasons for Joy Happy are the people whose God is the LORD. Psalm 144:15 “How’s life?” someone asks. And we who’ve been resurrected from the dead say, “Well, things could be better.” Or “Couldn’t get a parking place.” Or “My parents won’t let me move to Hawaii.” Or “People won’t leave me alone so I can finish my sermon on selfishness.” … Are you so focused on what you don’t have that you are blind to what you do? You have a ticket to heaven no thief can take, an eternal home no divorce can break. Every sin of your life has been cast to the sea. Every mistake you’ve made is nailed to the tree. You’re blood-bought and heaven-made. A child of God—forever saved. So be grateful, joyful—for isn’t it true? What you don’t have is much less than what you do." — Max Lucado (Grace For The Moment Daily Bible, NCV: Spend 365 Days reading the Bible with Max Lucado)

177. "And just because I was a little more willing and a lot more able to be a parent didn’t mean I was itching to become one." — Michelle Huneven (Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids)

178. "nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3–4)." — Tim Kimmel (Grace-Based Parenting)

179. "28People did not think it was important to have a true knowledge of God. So God left them and allowed them to have their own worthless thinking and to do things they should not do. 29They are filled with every kind of sin, evil, selfishness, and hatred. They are full of jealousy, murder, fighting, lying, and thinking the worst about each other. They gossip 30and say evil things about each other. They hate God. They are rude and conceited and brag about themselves. They invent ways of doing evil. They do not obey their parents. 31They are foolish, they do not keep their promises, and they show no kindness or mercy to others. 32They know God’s law says that those who live like this should die. But they themselves not only continue to do these evil things, they applaud others who do them." — Max Lucado (Grace For The Moment Daily Bible, NCV: Spend 365 Days reading the Bible with Max Lucado)

181. "Of all the things I have learned since becoming a parent(and sometimes, it feels as if this might be everything I've learned), perhaps the hardest to accept is that it is selfish and possibly even dangerous to desire particular outcomes for our children." — Ben Hewitt

182. "I’m not proud of the lies I tell my children. Some are truly selfish and for the wrong reason. “Honey, you wouldn’t want a bite of Daddy’s cheeseburger. It’s spicy.” I don’t feel guilty when I deny eating my kids’ after-school snacks. I feel guilty telling them that their mom did. Of course, no parent sets out to lie to his or her children. I never did. Then again, I never thought I would let my three-year-old watch TV or chew tobacco." — Jim Gaffigan (Dad Is Fat)

183. "I’m not saying parenting cured my narcissism, but it changed me and continues to change me every day. I am now a teeny tiny bit less of a narcissist. Being a parent is a selfless adventure. The worldview of “Take care of yourself first” is no longer logical to a sane person if your baby wakes up hungry in the middle of the night. You can’t be like, “What’s that? The baby is starving? Eh, forget her, I’ve got to get some sleep.” For me, parenting was literally a wake-up call from my own simple selfishness. In other words, I’m not quite as horrible as I used to be." — Jim Gaffigan (Dad Is Fat)

184. "Torvalds decided to use the GNU General Public License, not because he fully embraced the free-sharing ideology of Stallman (or for that matter his own parents) but because he thought that letting hackers around the world get their hands on the source code would lead to an open collaborative effort that would make it a truly awesome piece of software. “My reasons for putting Linux out there were pretty selfish,” he said. “I didn’t want the headache of trying to deal with parts of the operating system that I saw as the crap work. I wanted help.”136" — Walter Isaacson (The Innovators: How a Group of Inventors, Hackers, Geniuses, and Geeks Created the Digital Revolution)

185. "Our world was too small before. Our faith was too shallow, our theology too narrow, our dreams too temporary, our family too isolated, our Christianity too comfortable, our worries too finite, our relationships too homogenous and our prayers too selfish." — Jason Johnson (Reframing Foster Care: Filtering Your Foster Parenting Journey Through the Lens of the Gospel)

186. "In our own society, parental investment by both parents is large and not obviously unbalanced. Mothers certainly do more direct work for children than fathers do, but fathers often work hard in a more indirect sense to provide the material resources that are poured into the children. On the other hand, some human societies are promiscuous, and many are harem-based. What this astonishing variety suggests is that man’s way of life is largely determined by culture rather than by genes. However, it is still possible that human males in general have a tendency towards promiscuity, and females a tendency towards monogamy, as we would predict on evolutionary grounds. Which" — Richard Dawkins (The Selfish Gene)

187. "He read the message again. He sat down on the bed, breathing and staring; thinking first the old selfish child’s thought that comes with the death of a parent, how will it affect me now that the earliest and strongest of protections is gone?" — F. Scott Fitzgerald (Tender is the Night)

188. "Along the way, unrequited love provides us with an occasion to exercise our aptitudes for optimism in a highly salutary way. After a few decades on the earth, it is only too easy to start to hate our fellow humans for their mediocrity, selfishness and idiocy. But with our beloved in mind, we can, for once, give free reign to a boundless generosity that a god or the parent of a newborn might deploy. We can tell ourselves that we have found an angel, an exalted being, on the basis of nothing more than how wise their green eyes look or how delicately they open their yogurt for lunch. Our verdicts are a delusional exaggeration, but – given how much grounds there is to despair at the human experiment – perhaps a noble and forgivable one as well." — Alain de Botton

189. "Out of all the wishes on the Parental Wish List, “good memories” are one of the few that clearly depend upon how you raise your child. Don’t forget it." — Bryan Caplan (Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think)

190. "The ancestors had called Europeans “the orphan people” and had noted that as with orphans taken in by selfish or coldhearted clanspeople, few Europeans had remained whole. They failed to recognize the earth was their mother. Europeans were like their first parents, Adam and Eve, wandering aimlessly because the insane God who had sired them had abandoned them." — Leslie Marmon Silko (Almanac of the Dead)

192. "A child's adoption carries the worst cruelty and grief; indeed, it separates from real parental love; such love nowhere can be possible; it also eliminates genuine identity. It executes a crime of selfishness in the context of deprivation for one and comfort for another." — Ehsan Sehgal

193. "I'm mother to a 20-year-old and I think that the best warning I can give other mothers out there, is to stop expecting and encouraging your child /children to have, or to find, partners that fill-in the missing links for you; that finish your job as a mother for you. It's lazy and selfish. I don't expect my son to ever be with someone who mothers him, treats him like an infant, coddles him, or tries to draw him closer to God. I do not expect my son to find a partner who does my jobs for me. My jobs are mine. My son ought to find a real partner, an equal, an exciting companion to spend his days with. Not a pseudo-mom or an auntie. Please stop expecting that for your children; it's narcissistic and it robs them of a well-lived experience of life." — C. JoyBell C.

194. "In life and especially marriage, many individuals come from homes that they're well versed and know how to be loved, but unfortunately know so little about how to love others. They continually receive love from our parents, siblings, cousins, grannies, closer and distant relatives, friends, teachers, leaders, spouses and everybody else around them that they get overly entitled to love. In the process they lose the art and science of loving other individuals around their life and only expect to receive affection but never reciprocate it. Simply said they have lost the nerve for the cost of healthy or valuable relationship but selfishly do let it crumble in their hands. They just need to learn how to love!" — Dr. Lucas D. Shallua

195. "Depend on it; there is no surer road to unhappiness than always having our own way. To have our wills checked and denied is a blessed thing for us; it makes us value enjoyments when they come. To be indulged perpetually is the way to be made selfish, and selfish people and spoiled children are seldom happy." — J.C. Ryle (The Duties of Parents: Parenting Your Children God's Way)

196. "There’s a beauty in your children’s seeing you take time for yourself. It is not selfish." — Jamie Glowacki (Oh Crap! I Have a Toddler: Tackling These Crazy Awesome Years—No Time-outs Needed (Oh Crap Parenting Book 2))

197. "Your Honor, more than a decade ago I made bad decisions, on both a practical and a moral level. I acted selfishly, without regard for others, I knowingly broke the law, I lied to my loving family, and I distanced myself from my true friends. “I am prepared to face the consequences of my actions, and accept whatever punishment the court decides upon. I am truly sorry for all the harm I have caused to others and I know the court will deal fairly with me. “I would like to take this opportunity to thank my parents, my fiancé, and my friends and colleagues who are here today and who have loved and supported me, and to apologize to them for all the pain, worry, and embarrassment I have caused them. “Your Honor, thank you for hearing my statement and considering my case." — Piper Kerman (Orange Is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison)

198. "If I hadn’t been so selfish, this would not have happened. My sister would not have been sullied. My mother-in-law would not have died without me to comfort her. My parents would not have been humiliated. And for what? So I could live a life of my own? How self-centered I had been!" — Alka Joshi (The Henna Artist (The Henna Artist #1))

199. "Whenever a system of communication evolves, there is always the danger that some will exploit the system for their own ends. Brought up as we have been on the ‘good of the species’ view of evolution, we naturally think first of liars and deceivers as belonging to different species: predators, prey, parasites, and so on. However, we must expect lies and deceit, and selfish exploitation of communication to arise whenever the interests of the genes of different individuals diverge. This will include individuals of the same species. As we shall see, we must even expect that children will deceive their parents, that husbands will cheat on wives, and that brother will lie to brother." — Richard Dawkins (The Selfish Gene)

200. "A parent who is too flexible deprives children of the sense of security that comes from having a specific schedule, clear limits, and definite standards. Such a parent isn’t able to protect her own needs and may raise selfish children who never learn to respect the needs of another." — Anne Katherine (Boundaries Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries)

201. "What happens when children become secondary to a greater good is similar to the neglect that happens to children in families where one parent is addicted to drugs, alcohol, work, or money. Religious devotion, however, tends to involve both parents and can thus be especially problematic. Even more troublesome is the insistence that devotion is a higher calling. Children cannot question this without feeling guilty, selfish, or absurd. With other kinds of neglect, society is more likely to respond with censure or punishment, require treatment or suggest alternatives, but this kind of intervention is very unlikely within a religious family system." — Marlene Winell (Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion)

202. "It is a selfish - selfish world - you know why - because nature teaches selfishness, parents teach selfishness, teachers teach selfishness - and by the time a child full of human potential grows up to be an adult, they are no longer human, they end up as modern savage in fancy rags." — Abhijit Naskar (Şehit Sevda Society: Even in Death I Shall Live)

203. "He was the older brother and pretty much the prodigal son— their parents adored him. And so did a lot of other important people in our species. But being able to fool people into thinking you have character isn’t the same as actually having character. And the one thing I know for sure is that Hudson wasn’t a quarter of the person Jaxon is. Too selfish, too egotistical, too opportunistic. All Hudson cared about was Hudson. He was just good at pretending to care about what those in power wanted him to care about." — Tracy Wolff (Crave (Crave, #1))

204. "But you go into parenting hoping, maybe selfishly, that your kid will love the thing you love, and you can share that with them." — Rachel Lynn Solomon (The Ex Talk)

205. "How could he possibly understand what it would mean for her mother to find her there? She suddenly hated him for being an American and herself for feeling so foreign when she was with him. She hated his ideals of rugged individualism, self-determination—this vain idea that life was what you made of it—as if it were some sort of paint-by-numbers kit. Only the most selfish person on earth could live that way. Casey was selfish, she knew that, but she had no wish to hurt anyone. If her rotten choices hurt her, well then, she’d be willing to take that wager, but it was hard to think of letting her parents down again and again. But her choices were always hurting her parents, or so they said. Yet Casey was an American, too—she had a strong desire to be happy and to have love, and she’d never considered such wishes to be Korean ones." — Min Jin Lee (Free Food for Millionaires)

206. "Communication is best if indirect, with one person acting as messenger between two others (triangulation). 4. Be strong, good, right, perfect. Make us proud. (unrealistic expectations) 5. Don’t be selfish. 6. Do as I say, not as I do. 7. It is not okay to play or be playful. 8. Don’t rock the boat." — Kenneth M. Adams (Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners)

207. "The history of religion shows that God has commanded people to do all manner of selfish and cruel acts [...]. The recurrence of evil acts committed in the name of God shows that they are not random perversions. An omnipotent authority that no one can see is a useful backer for malevolent leaders hoping to enlist holy warriors. And since unverifiable beliefs have to be passed along from parents and peers rather than discovered in the world, they differ from group to group and become divisive identity badges." — Steven Pinker (The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature)

208. "both of her parents were, in her estimation, selfish beings, and she vowed not to be like them and not to allow her sisters to be, either." — Lucy Marin (Her Sisterly Love: A Pride & Prejudice Variation)

209. "The accusations of being selfish, narcissistic, or self-centered cause adult children of narcissists to fear setting boundaries with others. Since narcissistic parents condition their children to associate any form of healthy boundary-setting with punishment and projection, their children grow up believing that standing up for themselves is an inherently selfish act." — Shahida Arabi (Healing the Adult Children of Narcissists: Essays on The Invisible War Zone and Exercises for Recovery)

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