Feeling Lonely? Try the 2-Root Approach Today

Jordan Brown

There's the kind of loneliness that comes and goes.

And then there's feeling lonely, an almost existential kind of crisis.

It's the kind of loneliness that seeps into your mind and corrodes your heart.

The best way to overcome that kind of loneliness is to get to the root of the problem.

Most articles will give you a list of basic strategies to try like going for a walk or joining a book club.

Not here.

It's time to get down to the roots of the issue.

The 2-Root Approach to Ending Loneliness

Connection - Understanding How You Make Connections

The first root behind feeling lonely is connection.

There are many types of connections, and not all people connect in the same way.

Most people think that you're lonely when you're not around other people, and that's not necessarily true.

Some people don't have many quality relationships.

And that's completely OK.

What's key is that you figure out what's meaningful to you.

Some people need lots of social connections to feel secure.

I, on the other hand, am more of an introvert and prefer meaningful connection and emotional connection over lots and lots of social connections.

Before you can even address loneliness, you must pull back the curtain, so to speak.

You must unearth the root structure to expose the source of the problem.

Ask yourself questions to figure out how you connect:

When do I feel happiest?

What do I enjoy doing the most?

What do I find valuable in my closest relationships?

Do I need to have many personal connections or only a few?

Do I even need personal connection, or am I content to connect with nature and animals?

There are no right or wrong answers here.

What's important is that you uncover what matters most to you.

That's the only way you'll start down the path to ending your loneliness.

Mental Health - The Second Root of Loneliness in Life

I'm listing this one second, but it may be more vital than the first root.

Mental health is everything.

It is the underpinning of the way you view your world.

If a change in your mental health leads to a change in your perspective, your entire life experience changes along with it.

Throw into the equation the fact that mental health conditions like anxiety and depression can affect your physical health, and you begin to see how complex loneliness truly is.

Going along with the theme of understanding yourself, mental health is just that--an ongoing commitment to know who you are.

Again, questions come in handy here to better understand your mental health:

What's going on in your life currently?

Have you experienced any major life events?

Did you recently end an important relationship?

Are there any physical changes in your life?

All of these questions can point to the source of mental health challenges.

What's important is that you don't blame yourself for your current condition.

Instead, commit to uncovering the truth.

Be a scout, not a soldier.

Once the truth is in the open, it's much easier to make a plan.

Feeling Lonely is Part of Life, But You Can Address Your Feelings of Loneliness By Getting to the Roots

The pain of loneliness doesn't last forever.

It's usually a temporary tug of the heart.

But if you have the kind of existential loneliness that hangs around for a long time, it's time to get to work.

Thinking about your feeling of loneliness as two roots leading to a common pain can be a helpful approach.

1. Figure out how you make connections

2. Ask yourself questions to assess your mental health

The experience of loneliness can be absolutely awful.

It can also be overcome.

Dig deep.

Bring your feelings to light.

It's always easier to navigate in the brightness of the day.