How to Cope With Anxiety

"Am I Unlovable?" The 1 Truth to Get About Feeling Unloved

Table of Contents

Here’s a common human thought.

If I share this one thing about myself, others will feel that I am unlovable. They will KNOW that I am unlovable and unwanted. I AM unlovable. Am I unlovable?

This kind of personal crisis is at the heart of human existence.

But, funny enough, it’s not actually a personal crisis.

Because the parts that you feel you can’t share when you say, "I feel unlovable?"

The "unlovable" and "unwanted" parts actually bind you to others.

"Why Am I Unlovable?" (Feeling Unlovable or Unwanted)

It’s amazing to think that there was a point in my life when I was terrified to write about my mental health, a point when I asked myself, "Am I unlovable?"

I certain was feeling unloved from time to time.

And now here I am. Here we are.

The first time I even contemplated writing about my mental health, a thousand disastrous scenarios ran through my mind.

People will think I’m strange. They will no longer like me. I’ll be judged. They will think I’m, dare I say it, crazy.

That final one is a pejorative that especially hits hard for me. It’s probably because I know how often it’s used to hold people down, to put them in their proper place. It’s scary to step outside of societal norms.

Then I published my first story. And another. And another.

And you know what?

Nothing happened.

Well, not exactly nothing. Something did happen, but it wasn’t what I expected. Something happened inside of me. I got stronger. I started to find my voice. And, what may have been the oddest revelation, I started to feel less ashamed about who I was.

How could the exact opposite of what I thought might happen occur for me?

That is the secret right there. The beauty in the ugliness.

I thought the layers were there for a reason, for all time. But the layers were there to be peeled back, to be thrown away, discarded then and for good.

The funniest thing of all?

Whether I wrote about mental health online or not had nothing at all to do with feeling loved.

Learning to Cope: This One Core Belief is Holding You Back When You Ask, "Am I Unlovable?"

Would you believe me if I told you it’s your own self-doubt that is predominantly holding you back from feeling that you are lovable?

That’s what I’ve found to be true in my life.

I always thought it was other people. I thought it was society. I thought it was because, if I shared who I truly was, I would be unlovable.

These core beliefs I had. But they were limiting beliefs.

To be unloved, that is one of the greatest fears a human can have–to be cast off from the universe and all the connections that bind us to one another.

Maybe that was the case thousands of years ago. Societies, to inflict eternal shame, would cast off the unwanted. It’s not the case anymore.

I still have layers to peel. We all do.

But feeling unloved isn't a death sentence anymore.

What are the layers holding you back in your life?

They could be relationships that don’t serve you. Feeling unloved in a relationship is a real thing.

Or maybe your layers are limiting beliefs that you’ve had since you were a child.

Often, limiting beliefs take shape for no good reason at all. Do you even know why you think the things you do? Usually, it’s from an emotional experience that no longer carries any weight in our life.

You might believe that the world is not a safe place, but is that really true?

Are you really unlovable?

Question everything. It’s by questioning even the most minute details that you start to pierce the layers of your life. It’s by seeing the layers that you remove the layers.

I leave you with this:

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today can be an awakening for you. It can be the day you start to see your worth–and that includes the parts of yourself that you don’t think are valuable.

Because those parts are especially valuable. Because they are what make you human.

Liked What You Read?

Get the Latest Posts In Your Inbox 

(As Well As Resources Only Subscribers Get)

No spam ever. I respect your mental health. Unsubscribe anytime.
Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.

More posts from the same category