Feeling Unappreciated By Others? How to Feel Appreciated With One Mindset Change
There's a feeling that doesn't get discussed nearly enough.
And that's because this feeling has to do with a lack of something rather than the addition of a troublesome emotion.
It's not always easy to put your finger on it, but I can assure you that you've felt it before.
It's the feeling of...not feeling appreciated, and it's no good.
What can you do about this feeling when it comes around?
There's a step you can take, but it's not easy.
Fortunately, if you follow it, you'll save yourself a lot of heartache and mental strife in the long run.
Let me know if this describes something you've ever experienced.
You work as hard as you can--be it at home or at work--and you go above and beyond to make other people happy. In fact, you go so above and beyond that you expect to at least be noticed for your hard work. A simple head nod and a smile would suffice.
But it never comes.
What's going on here?
What's happening is that you're not being appreciated for your efforts. It happens to far too many of us. It's not like most people walk around expecting praise all the time. So why does it hurt so much to not be noticed and acknowledged by others?
We Are Social Creatures
We're humans. We evolved by relying on one another to stay alive.
And as the centuries passed, humans came to rely more and more on the special bonds they formed with their fellow men and women. Doing good work as an individual was often done to support the good of the group, the good of the whole.
But things have changed. In this modern world, most youth are now raised among the glint and gleam of social media, the cult of celebrity, and outrageous influencers who rule their own little spheres of influence. We look at these special people doing special things and we think, "They make it look so easy. Why can't I be like them?"
The reality is that all people need lots of help to get where they are today. It's rare to find a single person who achieved great status or fame with out at least a handful of powerful people taking a special interest in them.
But we don't discuss that reality. We don't talk about all of the helpers of the world--because that's not glamorous. That doesn't make for a blockbuster movie. Heroic feats of individual achievement do.
Sadly, we're missing out on a lot when we think and act this way.
There's another way to be.
How to Feel Appreciated
To feel appreciated, you really only have to remember one thing, and it's a tough pill to swallow.
You, and only you, can decide if you're appreciated or not.
You can't force anyone to do something that they don't want to do--or aren't capable of doing. And before you hang your head and decide that the world isn't fair, I want you to consider something.
This mindset change is actually amazingly powerful. When you decide that you need others' nice comments to derive your self-worth, you limit the power you have. You essentially give it away to others, most of whom don't deserve it and never will. You should be very selective with whom you place your trust and power. Because your power originates with you, in your own heart and mind. Giving it away to others by asking them to tell you how great you are is a battle you won't win. And it's not because you're not deserving of others' praise; it's because you're approaching the battle from the deepest of trenches.
Your vantage point is always better when you start from within your heart. Start there. Decide what it is that you feel you're lacking that you need from others. Hasn't any good change that has ever happened to you originated from within yourself? It has to be so. It's your life, after all.
Meditate on the words from the last few paragraphs. Read them again if you need to. It's often the case that the people who don't feel appreciated also don't feel they have the right to be appreciated.
Fill in the gaps of your own creation, and you start to see a new way forward, a way free and clear of other people's comments, be they filled with praise or judgment.
You have so much to give to the world that no other person can.
Your experiences are unique.
Your life is your own.