What You Need to Know When You Can't Deal With Life
"My life is terrible. I just can't deal with this anymore."
Have you ever had a thought like that?
Have you ever just wanted to sit down and cry while, seemingly, balancing the weight of the world on your shoulders?
You're not alone.
I've been there.
Maintaining your mental health is hard work. It's your life's work.
If you've ever thought, "This is all too much," I want you to read everything below. Every single word.
It might just change how you see yourself and the world you're trying to deal with.
I Don't Want to Deal With Life Anymore
There were times in my life when my anxiety was so bad that I didn't know how I was functioning, times when I spent more time worrying about the future than living in the present.
Starting in middle school, my mind started to work against me in sinister, conniving ways; it told me that I was a bad person when I most definitely was not; it convinced me that I would do things I most certainly wouldn't; and it tortured me in ways no enemy ever could.
This continued on through high school and into college.
I didn't realize how bad my anxiety and compulsive thoughts were because I had no frame of reference for them. I didn't have the proper training. I was a log floating in see that didn't remember the stable foundation from which it came.
Think about this: we still live in a world in which we expect children to be emotionally resilient and mentally tough, but we don't give them the tools to fortify their inner emotional and mental worlds in the first place. I was that child once, and it was only through emotional pain and plain, bad luck that I learned the skills that got me to where I am today.
In the process, I learned how to deal with life when I didn't want to, and I'm sharing what I've learned with you so that you can see how much life is actually worth living, even in the worst moments it hurls in your direction.
Tough Love - Your Life is Yours to Live and Learn to Deal With the Best You Can
I came across a quote within the last week that stopped me in my tracks.
"This is not your responsibility, but it is your problem.
Cheryl Strayed wrote that from the depths of the despair she's lived through, and it's worth focusing on for a bit.
The worst things that happen to you may not be something you should have to deal with. Most often, they are not. What you have to remember, though, is that your brain's job is to protect you from pain, to ward off the unpleasant realities that threaten to suffocate you. But what your brain doesn't understand is that, even if you didn't cause a problem to enter your life, it's still a problem you must embrace. The problem, whatever problem it might be, is yours to face. There's no escaping it. You weren't put on Earth to live a life free of all complaints, heartache, and misfortune. You were put on Earth to live a life, a life full of the good and the bad that blend together to create meaning.
Because when you say or think, "I don't want to deal with this anymore," you are having a reaction once-removed from your immediate experience.
You are better than that, more resilient than that, and tougher than the reactions your brain tries to trick you with.
For hidden in the thoughts that you're having is your true self, the one that has made it through so much so far, the self that has created meaning out of monstrous circumstances.
So much of mental health is about meaning--and finding it when all seems lost. You can't create meaning living in your head. Meaning isn't one-sided; it's multidimensional.
And only you can find meaning because only you can live your life. This is it. This is what you get, and you need to live it, because it's all you or any of us can do. W
hen you choose to fully accept whatever it is that's hurled at you, you choose yourself. You step into the role that's been given to you. It's a great privilege to accept who you are.
Dealing With Life - This Is What It Means
When you can't deal with life, it's a sign. It's a sign that you're actually on the right track. You're sensing the pain and letting it in. You're having one of the most fundamental human experiences that you can.
To avoid it and escape into manufactured realities is not what living a complete life is all about. That's just escapism, plain and simple.
You're better than that. You know so much more today than you did five years ago. Your task is not to say, "This is not my responsibility." Your task, and the great tasks that emanate from it, is to say, "I accept this problem. I accept it, and I will move forward despite it all."
You're here for a reason.
Finding that reason and creating the meaning that is your one life is the whole point. The good and the bad are mixed up in that pursuit. You can't have one without the other.
Because the world wouldn't be the world without you.